it feels kinda sucks to get to know someone.
be comfortable with him.
laugh at all of his jokes.
share your hopes and dream
getting to know him.
and at the same time getting to know yourself back.
but at the same time,
he’s living a thousand miles from you.
and minus all of the physical contact.
p/s: i’ve started to miss you Josh. :(
Posted 13 hours ago
hello there people! (if there are people who actually read this)
i’m back. from a very long hiatus.
well.
okay.
i have been posting but honestly.
i don’t think that i have been actually posting (erk?)
because all of the previous post were just some extreme emotional post.
maybe the reason why those posts were created was because i don’t really have the chance to be sad in front of the people around me. because they’re like super duper crazy and fun and i don’t see the reason why i should be sad in front of them. and there shouldn’t be a reason why i should tell them because then i’ll be like happy. but then when i’m alone. i feel sad again. and if i do tell them, then they’d say that ‘babe, you have suicidal tendency’ while i’m not. i’m just sad. so that is the very elaborate reason why i post sad things here. because it’s my only solitude.
*hands clean*
*cheery face*
okay. so, what have i been up to?
well. a lot of things. or wait. okay. i should rephrase that.
hm.. maybe i have beeen procrastinating a lot of things.
there’s like tons of ass-ignments to be done. just checked my final schedule and yes. i am gonna be a very nerdy pathetic student because i have 10 subjects to sit and there’s only two days gap. i’m so gonna die. but ya. like whatever. just gonna get thru this. one more year and i’m free baby! hahaha. the only thing that i have finished was actually the travelogue that i was suppposed to edit. yeay! excited about the art creation. maybe i’ll upload the finish product later after i do some artsy editing thingy to it. :)
a few nights back. i’ve talking to a college friend. we haven’t been in touch for a while but you know something pops out and i just gotta whatsapp him. you know, to see how things are doing and stuffs. and i got to know a truth that sets me free completely. well. i am free actually. this is a free country anyway. but man. something from the past have been haunting me like seriously. so, i was like really searching for answers. and he gave me those answers which matches my assumptions. i got this like really relieved kind of thing. and i felt that i really could move on now by knowing the truth. thank him for that and thank God for him. it doesn’t hurt me that much like what one of my closest friend think. i’m actually quite okay with that. because the truth gives me the ability to think and make decisions. so, the saying was right.
to find peace, you gotta find the missing pieces.
phew. that was relieve. to let go of all the things buried inside. now, i must continue to my assignments. :)
blessings: thanks to God for this great life, thanks to Josh a.k.a the Laugh Demon for the laughters. i really need them. :)
i’ll see you when i’ll see you!
ta! :)
Posted 2 days ago
passing by: i just watched the latest instalment of arose186 youtube video (she’s so cool!) and she said something about digging music from this singer called sufjan stephens. but she gave a warning that it’ll be so sad but good. so, i googled him. and now, he’s playing repeatedly on my player. and i don’t find it sad at all. which leads me to the conclusion, that i am a very pathetic sad girl. oh maaaannnnnnnnn :p.
oh ya. you guys should so def check him out. digging the track “To Be Alone With You”
Posted 2 days ago
it feels like i have been given a shot of life.
a new breath of sanity.
a window to an open and wide opportunities.
thanks bro.
for the truth.
i am finally set free.
Posted 2 days ago
he practically makes me smile the whole time he’s around me.
and he digs the same thing that i do.
just one more sign. if he’s into literature too.
i am so gonna kill myself.
(jk)
Posted 1 week ago
it kinda grows into me.
the love of seeing you smile and light up my day every time we met.
i wish this is not the end :)
Posted 1 month ago
1. Run away to Brooklyn. Rent an apartment with a claw footed bathtub. Commute to Manhattan during the week and put in hours at a menial publishing job. Drive home to New Jersey on weekends to swim in the pool and cry to your mother. Smoke Gauloises on the fire escape. Let yellowing issues of Rolling Stone and Vogue pile into a protective fortress around your bed. Listen to Cat Power. Fall asleep mostly naked beneath the duvet watching Sportscenter and drinking earl grey. Date a Yankees fan and kiss his hands on the 4 Train into the Bronx.
2. Run away to Barcelona. Eat milk chocolate magnum bars and drink cheap champagne. Burst into charming fits of laughter whenever you get embarrassed about butchering the Catalan language. Wear denim cutoffs, Dr. Pepper chapstick, and very little else. Go dancing at 3 a.m. Whiten your teeth. Tan your shoulders. Braid feathers into your hair. Perpetually wake up with sand caught in the thin cotton sheets of your tiny bed. Listen to the Rolling Stones and kiss all the longhaired boys you can get your hands on without ever having to apologize.
3. Run away to Los Angeles. Sublet a studio in Venice three blocks from the beach. Listen to top 40 radio. Go to Chateau Marmont and charge drinks you can’t afford to a long-dormant credit card. Sleep with a television actor who lives in the valley. Sleep with a musician who lives in Bel Air. Break things off with both of them when gas prices begin to rise. Find Gilda Radner’s star on the Walk Of Fame and swallow a sob when you see the filthy cement around her name is cracked. Walk through the Venice Canals until the sun sets and you forget your own name. Call your mother crying from the parking lot of a 24-hour Ralph’s supermarket. Tell her you want to come home.
4. Run away to Paris. Gaze at the pink and pistachio glow of macarons in the window on Boulevard Saint-Germain. Listen to Joni Mitchell. Meet an Argentinean man in the Latin Quarter for drinks. Melt into his accent and kiss him goodnight, but return to your apartment alone because his face doesn’t look enough like the man’s you are trying to forget. Get lost in the Richelieu Wing of the Louvre, admiring Napoleon’s fine red damask. Walk alone along the Seine in an old dress, ten-dollar shoes, and an Hermes scarf. Fumble with the locks on the fence overlooking the river. They all have lovers’ names etched into them and the girl who left the red heart-shaped lock has the same name as you.
5. Run away to Martha’s Vineyard. Write heartbroken stories during the day in front of a large fan that blows curls of humid hair across your tired face. Take a waitress job at The Black Dog at night and try hard not to drop too many trays. Learn to ride a moped. Pretend you’re a Kennedy. Listen to Carly Simon. Eat hand-churned ice cream out of waffle cones. Visit the flying horses and consider how many girls just like you have sat on the same horse clutching for the same brass ring. Get stoned and dance barefoot down the length of the eroded Jaws beach. Date a Red Sox fan. Yell at each other during baseball games, and then kiss and make up between tangled sheets.
— 5 Fantasy Exit Strategies « Thought Catalog (via 472239364)
Posted 2 months ago from confessionsofanicegirl with 6,663 notes
why?
i’d always find myself staring at those memories. fuck. i really have tried to move on. tried to stand still and put my head up. but inside, all i would really wanna do would just curl up in my bed, with music blasting out from the stereo retorting the words of lost and just fall inside this deep hole of sorrow.
i do realize the fact that i am strong enough to deal with this situation.
even though it kills me so much every time. each time.
Posted 2 months ago
